Category: Blog

Yeah…well, it happens *ALL* the time! Lol. Not!

The one time I *did* have to do it…it wasn’t fun. I really, really liked the guy. He was best friend. I LOVED him! I just wasn’t IN LOVE with him. Man…it was horrible. I didn’t want to hurt him but I didn’t want him to feel lead on. 

Things got pretty bad. We had to stop being friends. 

It was a LOOOOONG time ago. We are now friends again. Have been for quite a long time. Even hung out together on one of my returns back to Australia. I saw him gigging at a pub in Sydney. Yeah, we are distant but good friends.

Life’s a funny thing.

I dropped out at 14. Years of bullying finally took its toll. I was SO young (before the education department’s legal minimum age you were allowed to leave school of your own accord), I had to get special permission to leave.

There are really not many regrets I have in my life…but letting the bullies win by being driven out of school and missing the education I so strongly craved (the ultimate irony to it all is, I WANTED TO BE THERE! I WANTED TO BE EDUCATED – the bullies didn’t!) is definitely number one.

Well, I’m going to assume the equivalent of this in Australia is Primary school (attend from ages 8-11). I wasn’t there very often. I was bullied and as a consequence spent A LOT of time away from school. I have very hazy memories of primary school.

Ok. One of the ODDEST things to happen was me being awarded swimming proficiency certificates. Considering I was NEVER there…I have NO idea HOW this happened! Those who know me would know that there is NO WAY I was a proficient swimmer! Certainly not worthy of getting certificates. Something told me that a decision was made “up top” that I should get them, otherwise it would reflect bad on the school. That’s the only way I can see as to why I got them. It was VERY ood. I was as surprised as anyone to be receiving them. Lol.

I remember my first day of school. I did NOT want to go. I cried my heart out. I cried for my mum to come back and take me home. The teacher tried to pacify me by giving me a banana. Like that was going to help!

I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy school…

Well, this is an odd topic. I’m not sure how to answer this. I mean most people I want to be friends…I’m friends with. That’s how this “making friends” thing works…I’ve tend to found. So, the only path left is probably celebrity. And off the top of my head, I can’t really think of anyone. I could say something lame or predictable like Jim Kerr. And yeah, being his friend would be very nice…but I’d sssooo be wanting more and that would never be happening (more’s the pity)!

I dunno. I went to see Susan Calman this time last year, and she was brilliant. She said that she feels people are nervous to approach her – and equally she’s kind of nervous being approached – but she likes it. She likes meeting people and she doesn’t want anyone to feel they can’t approach her. So, if we ever see her out and about to just come up and say “hi”! If I ever get to Glasgow and I see her about, I’ll be sure to do just that! 

It was in the summer of 1990/91. My boyfriend’s sister had moved into a share house in central Sydney. The house was BEAUTIFUL! One of the old, traditional terraced houses that you see in central Sydney. Old style architecture but brought right up-to-date in the interior. 

I met some lovely people. Lots of discussion. Lots of alcohol, music, fun. It was a long while ago now…but I certainly remember enjoying myself and having A LOT to drink! Too much, in fact. I actually passed out rather than fell asleep…

It shouldn’t be what makes a great party! But that bit wasn’t the fun. It was the lovely house, the lovely people, the great weather and the location that makes it memorable. 

It was probably from 1999 to 2000. I’d just moved to the UK. I was newly married. I seemed financially secure. Life felt good. All good things come to an end…and so did this time of contentment. It didn’t last long! But for the brief time it did, I was probably the happiest I’ve ever been in life. Roughly 15 months of my life was glorious. Says it all, really…

Well, one return home to Australia was a really harrowing one…but also weirdly enjoyable 🙂 I nearly died out there! But it was also one that I have very fond memories of. 

It was in 2002. I had a severe chest infection (well, what had been diagnosed to me at the time by my local GP!) when we set off. I did NOT want to cancel the trip! Yes, we were insured, but trips back home are so precious (even then when I had only just been back to Oz 2 years previous, and had only left the country 3 years ago!), I really didn’t want to not go. So, despite how ill I felt, we went.

The plane journey wasn’t a comfortable one. I had to be VERY careful about what I ate during this illness. I couldn’t keep much down. I was having to sleep sitting up at this point, because laying down induced a coughing attack, so that aspect of being on the plane was OK. I’m not sure what the other passangers thought of me coughing all over the place. Probably that I was a right contagious git (which, as it turns out, I was!). Anyway, the plane journey was as comfortably uncomfortable as a plane journey could get!

When we arrived in Oz, it soon became obvious (if we didn’t realise it before) that something far worse than just a chest infection was going on with me. I was having severe coughing attacks (constantly coughing, with absolutely no respite – sometimes ending in breathlessness). A few days after arrival, I had a coughing attack so severe, I lost consciousness! There was nothing left to be done. Off to my mum’s GP I went! He ordered a blood test (the first blood test I’d had in my entire life! (I was 31 at the time) I was too ill to care – I am ssooo needle phobic, but I wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me! Before we got the blood result, the doctor suspected whooping cough! The bloods confirmed it. Yes! I indeed HAD whooping cough!

The rest of the vacation, I was still pretty damn ill. I could only drink water. I couldn’t drink anything else. All other liquids induced a coughing attack. The only thing I could eat was one bowl of cereal a day. Anything else I tried to eat also induced a coughing attack.

Towards the end of the vacation, I was beginning to feel a TINY bit better. We (Em and I) and my mum went down to Canberra for a few days. It was lovely to go away with my mum. She hadn’t been away anywhere for many years. And even though she was already quite disabled by this time, we managed to go places and have a lovely time away.

So, yeah. This vacation was hellish but also very happy. The very apitome of my own personal schadenfreude (even though that’s meant to be pleasure dirived from someone elses pain). The direct translation of the word is said to mean “harm-joy”. That’s exactly how this holiday felt!

Well, I alluded to this quite a bit in a previous post (see here). I’m not sure I want to go into too much detail! I remember more of the lead up and…erm…foreplay…than the actual deed itself. I certainly remember being MORE THAN ready for it! I’m not even sure if I…erm…orgasmed or not. So long ago now! I probably thought I had. I know I definitely wanted to “do it” with the person I was with. It wasn’t done out of boredom, or a desire to finally just sleep with SOMEONE. So, yeah. It was highly anticipated but probably not everything I wanted it to be. Definitely from the point of view that I thought it would mean the guy involved would want to go out with me, surely! But no…he used me. And I kept letting him use me. We’d continue to have sex on and off (more off than on, to be honest!) for a few more months. Then I met my first serious boyfriend, so whatever kind of weird relationship(?) I thought I had with my “cherry popper” ended. 

 I’m surprised I lasted until I was 18! If an opportunity had come by earlier…I definitely would have lost my virginity A LOT younger than I did.

I have recurring dreams. There are three of them that I find the worse. Thankfully I haven’t had any of them in a while…

One: Being chased. I haven’t had one for a very long time but I used to have dreams as a child of being chased by strange people. Usually older, creepy men. One I remember –  I was being chased by a strange man outside my house. I couldn’t escape him. As much as I ran, he stayed in pursuit. I couldn’t go back into my house either. Horrible!

Two: Falling and/or being paralysed. Either falling down LOTS of steps or escalators (I have a phobia of escalators). Or needing to run or scream and having paralysis preventing me from doing so. Again, awful! My most recent of these recurring dreams was of falling down a very large flight of escalators. 

Three: Being chased and/or stung by bees. Some of these bees are NOT regular sized either. Some are the size of rugby balls (or bigger). In case you have not guessed by now, I have apiphobia (fear of bees). Have done since my early teens. I’ve even run out on the street in heavy traffic to avoid bees.

These are the dreams guaranteed to wake me in a sweat.