March 2009 – University & Unicorns

28 March 2009

Reyne Down Retribution!

I’d just got myself the best of Australian Crawl and I’d tweeted saying that I didn’t really understand some of the words to the songs because of singer James Reyne unusual singing style. He sings in a bizarre accent that makes it hard to decipher the songs lyrics sometimes.

It lead me to go off on a tangent. Firstly to check the spelling of his surname, then onto Wikipedia for some interesting facts about him (like he was born in Nigeria). It said that his son appeared in Neighbours. I clicked on his sons name to see what character in Neighbours he played, and when…when I was presented with this page…

Somebody out there obviously does NOT like Jaime Robbie Reyne. Naughty, naughty 🙂

Just in case you are having trouble reading it, under the description of the article it describes Jaime as an Australian “jerk, asshole, wanker”.

Under “Acting Career” it reads “Jaime is a shit actor”, and under “Music Career” it reads “Jaime is a shit musician”. Whoops!

25 March 2009

Ryanair – Taking The P*ss Out Of Themselves and YOU.

A few weeks back there was news that Ryanair were seriously considering charging passengers for the use of toilet facilities on board their flights. The depth at which Michael O’ Leary (chief executive of Ryanair) trawls to earn his money knows no bounds.

I discussed it with a fellow tweeter and said the headline to the story should be “Michael O’ Leary’s taking the p*ss, and YOU’RE paying for it!”

There was apparently a steady backlash to the idea, with many customers getting in touch with Ryanair to let them know how they felt about it. And as a result, Ryanair have come up with a competition. The best idea submitted for the next “discretionary charge” – as they call it (not flagrant ripping-off of passengers) will win 1000 Euros.

To see the submissions so far, click here. You almost have to admire Ryanairs ability to take the Mickey out of itself if it wasn’t so farcical a notion to have these “discretionary” charges. I like the first one on the list, charging for toilet roll, that has Mr O’ Leary’s face printed on it! Genius! I’d definitely pay to use that. Better still, let’s have the opportunity to actually urinate and defecate directly ON Michael O’ Leary’s face!!!

Ryanair – going that extra mile to make the passengers happy.

23 March 2009

False Prophets.

Or profits. However you want to use it.
Advertising campaigners are…

Two points I want to make. Firstly, the advert for the Venus Embrace advert. The one below is the American version of the advert, but it says the same thing as the UK advert almost verbatim. Let me just point out before I continue, it is a FIVE BLADE razor. FIVE BLADES! And what is the selling point being declared about this FIVE BLADE razor? “Get VIRTUALLY every hair”. There’s FIVE FREAKIN’ BLADES! How can you only claim to get VIRTUALLY every hair? What is the point of having FIVE blades if even five of them can’t get every hair? That’s pathetic!!

[youtube=http://youtu.be/EpOo26i7fgc]

The other is the now criminal overuse of lash inserts in mascara adverts. How am I to make a proper judgement on the “best” mascara (assuming that obviously the criteria for the perfect lash is to have the longest) if ALL the mascara adverts show models with lash inserts? You might as well have done with it and buy the flippin’ lash inserts!! Not only now do mascaras offer length, they (allegedly) offer volume – so now you too can look like you have the lashes of a camel. I mean, WTF? For starters, I can’t really fathom the obsession for having longer, fully lashes. They are just eyelashes FFS!

[youtube=http://youtu.be/I9Fr9LENnvM]

Do the cosmetic companies just prey on all the bubble-headed ladies (and/or men, if they are not using their own targeted MAN-scara) that don’t read the “model wears lash inserts” small print on the screen? I can’t believe the cosmetic companies can get away with the whole “lash inserts” thing, just by needing to declare the model is wearing them. To advertise the product, they should have to show the models with no enhancements…ha ha ha!! Like that’ll EVER happen…

This still is from a Rimmel London advert with Sophie Ellis-Bexter. It not only declares that lash inserts were used but also says “enhanced in post production”, so not even the lash inserts were enough of a con job on their own. Shame on you Rimmel!

Just in case you can’t read it clearly, the small print reads “Filmed with lash inserts and enhanced in post production.”

22 March 2009

The Passing of Jade.

Jade Goody died this morning after what was NOT a long battle with cervical cancer by any means. She had only been diagnosed in August of last year (if memory serves me).

For those of you reading my blog outside the UK, Jade came to national prominence from being on Big Brother in 2002. She didn’t win, she only came 3rd (I think), but she’d won over the nation. More as an object of ridicule really with statements like “I thought East Anglia was abroad?”, when in fact it’s a region of South East England. She also appeared naked on screen after many weeks in the house when she had gone from her slender size 10 when she entered, to a then size 16. She also appeared to have given a BJ to one of her fellow housemates PJ (yes, you can imagine the headlines surrounding that!). But somehow, despite all this, and the seeming ridicule she was viewed with, she won over the nations hearts.

She ended up in every other way but factually, the BB 2002 winner. She was in magazines, she started dating a TV presenter (and ended up with a much higher profile than even HE had), started to run her own beauty therapy centre, slimmed down and brought out a fitness DVD, had children and was constantly in the lime light. She became a celebrity in her own right.

As a result of this, she ended up in the celebrity edition of Big Brother in 2007. And then the tide of public adoration – which was now less as an object of ridicule as she’d actually seemed to be achieving things with her life – waned as she became embroiled in the racial slurring of fellow CBB housemate Shilpa Shetty. She was by no means the only person involved. She came under a lot of fire and to her credit she always answered to her critics and continuiously and strenuiously apologised for her behaviour in the house.

She was then seen somewhat as a media whore. I never really had anything against the girl and I don’t now but I must admit I was sceptical at how genuine her apologies for what happen in the CBB house were. I was sceptical whether she really was capable of understanding how potentially wrong her actions in the house were. I say potentially, because upon reflection her actions were a “storm in a tea cup” comapred to how other housemates behaved. But she copped the biggest villification.

She did all she could to rectifiy it and win over the nations hearts again, but the damage had been done. She’d lost favour. Lost curry – as it were.

Then last year, she had just entered the Indian Big Brother house when she was notified that a pap smear result from a test she’d taken the previous week was positive. She was advised to return to the UK as soon as possible.

It was revealed a few days later she’d been diagnosed with cervical cancer. There were a few stinging comments from some circles akin to “Good! Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.”. As much as I was resistant to the Goody “charms” for the most part, I didn’t wish the woman ill will. I certainly didn’t see her having cervical cancer as some disgusting vindication or retribution for her behaviour in the CBB house, as some malinged people had.

I’m sorry for her and her family that her life has been cut short. I feel for her two young sons in particular. But I cannot help but feel that some public sympathy is being over emphasised. People making absurd comments, for example Stephen Fry who tweeted comments like “I suppose she was a kind of Princess Diana from the wrong side of the tracks” – erm, as much as I love you Stephen – PARDON? Is Jade now forever going to be known as “the People’s Chav”? WTF?

It is a tragic end to a life, I grant you that one. She was only 27 after all. But I am going to refrain from any expression of actual remorse for her death as I didn’t know her and am not going to pretend I did. I feel pity for those people out there going “poor Jade”, like they knew her. I find that sickening.

My condolensces go to her nearest and dearest. She divided opinion in the end. She was selling on her story to make an income while she could to leave to her sons. I’m not sure if they’ll end up thanking her. I guess we’ll have to find out in several years time.

R.I.P. Jade. It was nice (not really) knowing you.

21 March 2009

Yesterday’s Adventures.

Started out in a rush to the bus stop. Was worried we weren’t going to make it on time. We got there with a few minutes to spare though. Phew.

We were going to finally use the vouchers we won last year for the free bus travel. We get on the bus, the driver is perplexed by the sight of these vouchers. He entered in the code for the ticket we were to be issued, but the value price on the voucher had changed. He called his boss to confirm is was all legit and above board. Boss confirmed it and we were both issued our tickets. I had explained during events that we’d won the vouchers in a competition. As he handed over the tickets the driver said “You won a good competition there!” I replied “I know”! Issue price of the tickets – £70, EACH!

So, we were on our way to Welwyn Garden City. Been wanting to go there for WEEKS. We were originally going to take the bus to Hitchin, get off and walk to Hitchin railway station to get a train to Welwyn. Then I realised it would be better to stay on the bus. We had quite a walk from where the bus would let us off at Hitchin to the station. The bus was going on to Stevenage and there it would takes us right to the train station, and Stevenage is on the same train line, so we just stayed on and rode the bus right on into Stevenage.

We waited about 20 mins for a train and were in Welwyn about 12 minutes later. We mooched around the shops in the little shopping centre there, had some lunch. I had an adult sized “babycino” – which is basically just steamed milk. I had it with some caramel syrup. It was yummy. Got a tiny little biscuit with it which was nice.

We went outside for a bit. We’d taken the camera with us, so Em got some shots of the main drag of Welwyn.

We went round the corner and I looked in Evans (clothes shop for big ladies) and scored myself a pair of summer cropped pants for £3. We were walking along and just just split up, Em was going to the health food shop and I was going to have a look in another large ladies clothing store when I was accosted by a “chugger”. There are people on the streets over here, who work for charities and they accost you and try and get you to commit to regular, monthly donations by taking your bank details to set-up direct debits. They have been labeled “chuggers” a blend of the words “charity” and “mugger”. He was just there in my eye line and before I knew it, he had stopped me. I ended up letting him say his spiel in the hope that he might accept a one-off donation. But of course, these chuggers don’t work like this. Thank God, after some moments had elapsed, Em came to my rescue. The guy still put his heart and soul into it, bless him, but he was fighting a losing battle with Em at my side. We finally pulled away another 5 minutes later.

They can really lay on the guilt man! But it’s not even a charity I would be most inclined to give to. I’m far more into animal charities, the RSPCA, PDSA and all that. I’d be more willing to give to the PDSA because we actually might need to use them some time in the future. Anyway, enough of that.

We decided to leave Welwyn and go back to Hitchin for a bit. We got the train back to Stevenage and as we were boarding the bus Em said “maybe we should just go back into Luton and you can see the new Marks and Spencers part of the mall”. “Okay” I said, so we rode the bus past Hitchin and onto home. As we got into Stopsley, it was becoming obvious that the bus was going to go right by our stop for home before ending up in the town centre.

We were both feeling a bit knackered by this time – we’re a right pair of old fogeys! So we decided to get off at our stop, get something for tea from ASDA and go home. What a pair, eh?! A couple of hours out and we’re clagged out like two old cows with udders that hang on the ground! Goodness me! lol

But it was nice to get out and about. And it is SO lovely being on the trains again. Haven’t taken a train since probably taking the tube over a year ago. The underground is NOT a romantic train journey experience though…

I find there is a real romanticism with taken the train though. Seeing the countryside go by out a train window. We went over this lovely old viaduct yesterday, and the view from it, over the Hertfordshire countryside was lovely. I so wish trains were more affordable to use.