My Sexual Awakening.

This story http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/south_of_scotland/7754247.stm prompted me to write about my sexual awakening. It probably happened much sooner than many people would think.

Mind you, I didn’t act upon it until a was 18, but it would’ve happened MUCH earlier in my life had the circumstances permitted. If I’d have had my way, I’m sure I would have lost my virginity at a ridiculously young age!

My mother was very open about sexuality with me. She started my sex education when I was about 4-5 years old. She was worried about the things I’d pick up in the school playground and didn’t want me to be misinformed. So many of my contemporaries were given stories of cabbage patches, storks, magic and had silly names for anatomical parts like “pipes” for penises. She taught me things like how impregnation takes place. So I knew when a woman was pregnant she had a baby growing in her stomach, not she was ballooning for no good reason to only be “sent” a child by a stork, or randomly “find” one in a cabbage patch!

I wasn’t banned from watching certain things on TV either. I’d watch adult oriented soap operas and drama series. By the time I was around 11, I was quite interested in the “delights of the flesh”. When I saw people acting out sensual or even sexual scenes on TV, I found it utterly intriguing and thrilling.

Perhaps it’s my Scorpio nature, but I’ve always considered myself a very sexual being. It’s by the age of 11 that I am (I do beg all of your pardons) masturbating regularly and having many sexual fantasies, particularly about older men. I think that perhaps this aspect stemmed from me growing up without my father around, although my brothers are all over 9 years older than me. I looked up to older men, be they teachers, sports stars, actors. I’ve had MANY crushes on older men. Not so much these days, as I’m so much older myself now.

Many of my sexual fantasies revolved around me being involved with older men. Even at my tender age, I found the age and experience of men over the age of 21 so compelling. I’m sure if I’d have had my way, I’d have lost my virginity at 11-12 and to a much older man. I was Lolita!

I am, with hindsight, thankful that no situation ever arose in which I had such an opportunity. I was 18 when I (Finally! In my eyes at the time) lost my virginity to a guy only one year older than me who I’d been keen on for the previous 18 months. Although the relationship went nowhere, he was just in it for “a root”, as we say in Oz, it still was a very special experience that I still can have nostalgia about. Not sure if I could have looked upon it so rose-tinted had I been younger.

Six Things (Which Will Probably Be Crap)

Wendylisted her 6 things via Plurk earlier today, so thought I might give it a go. Even though I am TRULY crap at bringing up random, seldom known “facts” about myself. Here goes…

 

Six Things People Don’t Really Know About Me:

 

In high school I was awarded certificates for swimming when I didn’t even swim any heats, or actually DO any swimming.

 

I got Drew Barrymore’s autograph at Sydney Airport in the newsagents in the departure lounge on July 18th, 2005. I actually tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention! She signed her name in an autobiography on Waris Dirie. It was all I had to hand.

 

My Drew Barrymore autograph

I am, actually, surprisingly very good at retaining phone numbers to memory, just not my own! I’ve had a “new” mobile phone number for 14 months and have only just etched it to memory!

 

I am fascinated by Chinese culture and art and some of my favorite films are by Chinese director Zhang Yimou. My favourite Chinese actress is Ziyi Zhang and my favourite Chinese Actor is Chow Yun-Fat or “Happy New Year” as I call him due to the Cantonese New Year greeting “Gung Hay Fat Choy”. I also love reading auto/biographies by Chinese people like Adaline Yen Mah, Xinran, and To The Egde of The Sky by Anhua Gao – one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read.

 

I collect coffee mug as souvenirs. Whenever I go to a new town or place of interest, I try to buy a commemorative coffee mug of the place. If I can’t get a mug, I’ll buy a book mark. Last commemorative item I bought though was neither. It was a cloth bag from Lincoln Cathedral.

 

I am an avid studier of the history of the British monarchy. I particularly love the Tudor period of the monarchy.

 

There…a sad array of random facts.

Just Three Words

I saw this on Wendy’s blog, and you know me with these kind of things, I couldn’t resist 🙂

“You have to use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It’s harder than you think.”

Where is your mobile phone? right beside me
Your girlfriend/boyfriend/hubby? very near me
Your hair? (not my answer – but is this mean WHERE is my hair? WTF?!) on my head
Where is your father? I don’t know
Your favorite thing to do? listen to music
Your dream last night? didn’t have one
Your favorite drink? malted milk drink
Your dream car? A Smart car
The room you’re in? our front room
Your fears? bees, spiders, heights
Who did you hang out with last night? Em and Chrissy
What aren’t you good at? too many things
Muffins? with grilled cheese
One of your wish list items? SLR digital camera
The last thing you did? made blog comment
What are you wearing? t-shirt, nightie, underwear
Your pet? cat and goldfish
Your computer? Acer Aspire One
Your life? fair to middling
Your mood? subdued but chipper
Missing? my Australian family
What are you thinking about right now? what’s for breakfast
Your car? don’t have one
Your work? not in employment
Your summer? a mediocre one
Your relationship status? partnered, technically married
Your favorite color(s)? pink, black, blue
When is the last time you laughed? late last night
Last time you cried? on November 11th
School? Busby Primary School

Sickness and Quiet.

I’ve been ill the last few days, so sort of been away the last few days (off the Internet that is). Have spent my first full day on Plurk.com in about 4 days and the site is SSSOOO quiet.

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Writing Analysis Result.

I just did a writing analysis online (yes, I was wondering how it was going to work myself before I started it!). Here’s the result:

Welcome Lozzy Read, here is your handwriting analysis.

Lozzy uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Lozzy does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

Lozzy will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying “I love you” is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.

Lozzy is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask “Is this best for me?”

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Lozzy doesn’t write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Lozzy will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don’t really want her opinion, don’t ask for it!

Lozzy is a cumulative and procedural thinker. She likes to have all the facts before making a decision. She thinks or creates much like a brick mason, stacking fact upon fact. Her thought pattern or the conclusion will not be complete until the last fact is in place. Like that brick wall, Lozzy learns faster through visual demonstration than through quick verbal instructions. Once she has learned new material, and understood it, she won’t forget.

Lozzy is a methodical thinker, therefore she is able to build things and come up with new ideas. In an argument, she often loses to rapid thinking people because she is thinking thirty minutes later about what she should have said. These people often are very booksmart, but can be out-gunned in a rapid fire verbal debate.

She may learn new ideas at a slower pace than other “less detailed” people, but once she gets it, she can handle repetition. Some people hate jobs with too much repetition, she can handle it better than most.

Lozzy is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn’t necessarily mean things go as planned. Lozzy basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality– not too “out of reach”. She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

Lozzy has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Lozzy’s y or g is large and has triangle shape to the lower loop. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Lozzy has regarding sex and physical things. Her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop has a triangle shape, this indicates a particular curiosity with certain aspects of sexuality. In a nutshell, Lozzy is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once. I’d say Lozzy is quite a dynamic and playful lover. Watch out world!

To take the test yourself, click here

Generalised Update.

No real news to speak of going on. Just spending my mornings and early afternoons on the Internet and my late afternoons and evenings watching TV/DVDs.

Going to go into town tomorrow. Need to deposit a postal order into the bank account. OMG, what a drawn out affair this has been. Right, we sold something on eBay and the man who bought said item wanted to pay for it by postal order. He checked with us that we were okay with that before purchase. We said “fine, no probs”. When purchase went through, we initially requested the postal order be made out in Em’s name as she was the only one with a bank account.

It got a bit lost in translation and the man asked again for payment information (who to make postal order out to, etc). To save confusion, second time round we said my name (the eBay account is in MY name after all). When the postal order arrived we went into to town to cash it at the post office. The lady at the counter said “I can’t cash this for you, it’s been crossed” – which means the postal order has to be deposited into a bank account. FLIP! I don’t have a bank account in my name! And I forgotten all about postal orders being crossed so they can only be deposited in a bank account. I just assumed I’d be able to cash it at a post office.

So we think, quickest solution, we go to the bank and have me signed up as a joint bank account holder. That was September 4th. I got my debit card on Saturday (SEPTEMBER 27TH)!!

In the meantime we’re keeping the buyer informed of what was happening. We keep apologizing profusely, he’s very understanding and feeling sorry for us being without the cash. Finally, after waiting over 2 weeks for the account to be set-up and trying to contact the bank with no luck, we decide to send him back his postal order. We sent it back on Wednesday (Sept. 24th), only for then to have my debit card arrive 3 days later!!! Honestly!

The poor guy has now sent the postal order back to us, so we’re going back into town tomorrow to deposit it. Phew! What a kerfuffle!

Anyway, back to the other stuff occupying my mind. I just finished watching State of Play. A BBC drama that was on about 5 years ago. It was available to watch on DVD. It was VERY good. Really liked it. I’m not normally into political lead dramas but that was good.

I also watched Curse of The Golden Flower, a Zhang Yimou film. I love his stuff. He makes such visually stunning films. This one was a bit of a slow-burner plotwise, but it had a thrilling and brutal end. And OMG the manpower involved in some of the closing scenes. Talk about a crew of extras!!!

DVDs coming up next are Disc 1 of the second series of Doctor Who (DT’s first Who episodes – minus The Christmas Invasion). The first series of Peep Show with David Mitchell and Robert Webb. I never really watched it, so looking forward to catching up with it. The last disc is another Zhang Yimou film.

And I’ve also finally bitten the bullet and getting Medium season 2 on DVD ‘cos it was such a good price and it appears I’ll be waiting a while to get season 2 from the DVD rental store ‘cos they’ve only just made it available and it’s popular.

Anyway, that’s me done for now…all that’s turned out a bit long-winded for a “nothing” post!!

Just For Fun.

I saw this on Wendy’s blog and thought I’d do it for a laff.

Porn Star name (first pet, first street where you lived): Shirley Ayrshire

Rock star name (favourite pet, current car): Chrissy Corsa (had to use past car there, as don’t have a car atm)

Gangsta name (favourite ice cream flavour, favourite type of shoe): Honey Ginger Plimsole

Native American name (hair colour, favourite animal, favourite hobby): Brown Tiger Reading

Soap Opera Name (middle name, city where you were born): Marie Fairfield

Star Wars name (first 3 letters of last name & first 2 of first name, last 3 letters of middle name): Realarie

Stripper Name (favourite perfume, favourite candy): Poison Lovehearts

TV Newsreader name (grandparents first name, any town that starts with the same letter): Ada Armidale

Spy Name (favourite season, favourite flower): Spring Gerbera

Cartoon name (favourite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing now): Banana Nightie

Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, favourite tree): Cheerio Willow

Self-Portrait: me brave.

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As seen on subgirl’s journal.
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.

Taken exactly 5 minutes ago with my webcam. Looking my usual disheveled self. It *IS* Sunday!!!

Random!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR! Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

 

Got out and about this week. We hired a car for the day and went shopping. First of all we went to Frosts, a garden centre in Milton Keynes. Some of the shelves were cleared and getting filled with Xmas decorations. IT’S BLOODY SEPTEMBER!!!

 

There’s another garden centre just a few hundred yards down the road from there, Wyvale. They were doing the same bloody thing!

 

Anyway, we wanted to look around as we’ve got ourselves a council allotment (strip of land on council property we can use for growing plants/flowers/fruit and veg on). It only cost us about £17.50 for the year. All we had to do was make a £2.50 deposit for keys to get onto the site. It’s a BIG plot of land. I’ll provide a pic later on.

 

There’s quite a bit of weed on the plot and it’s over grown, so we’re trying to weed it without having to deturf the soil. Em says the soil is rock hard, and not of the best quality, so I’m not sure how we’re going to go growing on it.

 

We went to Morrison’s supermarket after the garden centre trips. AGAIN more Xmas stuff on the shelf already! Found a lovely cooking magazine there with some lovely recipes. Last night I had a chicken noodle stir-fry. Skinless, boneless chicken thighs mixed with red bell pepper, onion, garlic, chili, beansprouts, straight-to-wok noodles and oyster sauce. It was really yummy, and hot. I was careful only to use the chili flesh and NOT the seeds though, so it was manageable.

 

There some more fab recipes for us to try in it that can easily be adapted to vegetarian dishes.

 

Got some DVDs to watch. A BBC drama series called State of Play, with Blackpool star (and soon-to-be Doctor Who Xmas special star) David Morrissey, previous DW Xmas special star (and Life on Mars star) John Simm and Bill Nighy, among other luminaries. It was a highly acclaimed series, so I’m hoping it’ll be good.

 

Got the first series of Nighty Night to watch too. It was SO dark! I sort of missed it when it first went out and would catch bits of it here and there, but would like to see the whole thing proper.

 

The other disc is the movie Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and my mate Drew (Barrymore). Just fancied seeing it.

 

I’m SO peed off with the DVD rental place. Just when I got half-way through getting Medium series 2 from the friend of a friend of a friend, they get series 2 on DVD!!! I’ve added it to my rental queue though, as the “friends” copies are not the best.

 

Watched Ugly Betty last night. SSSOOOO loving that Betty’s back! Oh, and Mock The Week was on too, with Frankie Boyle being his usual dark self!

 

Sorry, this one’s a bit of a random post.

 

Bye…

 

I Have A New Addiction.

All of these things are normally down to Em. She’s been using the service since June and I’ve only just finally caught the bug. It was prompted mostly by hearign the news this morning that the UK arm of twitter won’t be letting people update their tweets via sms. The UK are losing their twitter number. Thanks twitter!

So, anyway, it’s prompted my move to finally go to Plurk. Not that they offer sms either, but it looks a nice structured web site. You get your own dedicated plurk page, and there seems to be a little chat community on there. I’ve already got one Plurk friend that isn’t Em!

I’ve put a widget on the side bar of my blog, with a link to my page, as well as Plurk itself.

Just a quickie for today.