University & Unicorns

“But I liked it!”, replies the attention-seeking, recalcitrant no-mark. Another “victim” of Celebrity Scissorhands. If you have no experience of this programme, it’s about training a group of “celebrities” (I put them in commas because unless you live in the UK and have no life “HELLO” – waves hands in the air – you will probably not have heard of ANY of these so-called celebrities) to become hairdressers/beauty therapists with around 13 years experience in just 3 weeks.

It’s all for charity. The BBC’s annual fund-raising event which is broadcast each November, called Children In Need. Last year on the night, the celebrities that remained in training styled the hair of the people taking part in Children In Need that night. This year they will be taking part in a hairdressing “show-down” where they will be performing styles in front of a panel of hairdressing and celebrity judges. The best is crowned “Celebrity Scissorhands Hairdresser of the Year 2007”.

Nine “celebrities” are taking part with the assistant to head hairdresser (and trainer) Lee Stafford, being last year’s favourite, Steve Strange (of 80’s pop icons Visage). All the celebs are to train in all aspects of hairdressing and beauty therapy. So they’ll be doing anything from cutting and styling hair, to waxing, to massage, body wraps, facials, manicures and pedicures…everything.

Members of the general public apply online to go into the salon to be “clients” of the celebrities. You can state your preference between having your hair cut, to having a beauty treatment, or an entire makeover.

Obviously the hair cuts are the best entertainment. The celebs start cutting on day one, with absolutely NO pre-training, just a very basic “this is how you hold the scissors and this is how you make a cut” approach, and off they go!

Baring this in mind, can anyone explain to me WHY someone would apply to this programme IF they are SO precious about their hair? It must be to get on TV, as there would be no other reason if you are that uptight about it. On day one, Ben Nicholas (Stingray off Neighbours) cut a ladies hair and she was getting really pee-d off. She said he’d made her “look like a boy” and so STEVE STRANGE (if you happened to watch last year, you’ll know why I put this in capitals) was sent to rectify what “butchering” Ben had caused. Trust me, the last person you want to touch your hair if it has already been butchered is Steve Strange! Suffice to say, Steve tried to “salvage” the job and for a change didn’t do too badly. But anyway, it’s FOR BLOODY CHARITY!

So, you’re a big-headed love-me-do, but, you know you just happen to have a charitable side (that shines through most while you have your mug to TV it just so happens). You’re happy to apply to CS for a hair cut, because you know it’s for charity and you’ll raise some money for Children In Need. Until you’re at the salon, when Steve Strange approaches you and you rather hypocritically start to panic. You then start to forget about the little 2 year-old girl sleeping on the streets of Malawi you’re meant to be there to help because Steve has just left a big V-shaped gap in your hair. GET OVER IT! How pathetic do you look, obsessing about your hair when some child you are meant to be there for is being abused by their father while you’re there crying into your own hands because your hair looks funny. GET A GRIP!!

I love the show, but why oh why do the people that end up on there get SSOO worked up about their hair? One lady, obviously wonderfully charitable, raised £5,000 to have her hair cut on the show, but was visibly unhappy with her cut. I mean, take it on the chin! You raised 5K’s! Shouldn’t you be happy?

I’d be wrapped to be “Stranged” (as Steve’s cuts have come to be known). It would be a unique cut for one!

Just friggin’ live with it! It’s only hair after all.