I’ve watched a few documentaries on Channel 4 in the last week and it’s had me questioning things and stuff.
I always think about these things in bed at night and say to myself “I must write about this in a blog post” and then never get round to doing it, or go off on a complete tangent and talk about something else entirely. Anyway, the first doc I watched was In The Shadow Of The Moon about the Apollo Moon expeditions. Towards the end of the doc they were talking to one astronaut, Charles Duke about what his overall feeling was at having been one of very few humans to actually visit the Moon. I’m not sure if I’ll remember it ver batim but he said something like…he had an epiphany while up there. He was looking around thinking that this (the Universe) could not have been made by accident and that someone or something MUST be behind it. He had a new found sense of faith. That he believed in God more than ever. He is now the leader of the Duke Ministry for Christ. I just found that weird. That for a man of science (being an astronaut) you would think after seeing what you saw out there in space that you’d be thinking “Wow, what an amazing Universe this is! Surely just one being could not have made all this?!”. Instead he thought “Wow! God did good!” I find it very hard to believe that one sentient being – be it “God” as depicted in The Bible, or some other “higher” being, working alone – would be responsible for the Universe. Religion seems to dispute categorically the notion that the Universe is just random acts of biology, chemistry and physics coming together to make this thing we live in. Yet if there was a defined “beginning” (ie: God created the heavens, etc), where the f*ck did God come from??? I think we, as humans are just another virus floating around. We just happened to mutate enough to grow a brain that works out language and maths and all the mental functions we use now. But it’s probably very infantile in its approach compared to what could be “out there”. And by that I don’t mean God or a God but other alien life. How do we know we’re not just some HUGE mistake? How do we know that this God of ours (if he is to be believed to exist) is not just creating this tension between us (as humans) to force us to wipe each other out? Perhaps “he” can’t be bothered to fix his mistake (IE: us humans) and thought “You know what? I don’t want to eradicate them myself, so I’ll let them do it to themselves”. And for us what seems like has gone on for THOUSANDS of years – a vast expanse of time for us – has just been nano seconds to this “God” of ours??? I’m getting a bit deep here, but there you go. Anyway…on to the next one… Last night there were two docs on. One about Gordon Brown’s first year as Prime Minister. I enjoyed watching that. I was worried it might be heavy, or over-politicised (yes, I know, it was about politics, what did I expect?), but it wasn’t. Maybe I like my politics “dumb”, I don’t know, but I know I enjoyed watching the “review” of Gordon’s year. I was in Oz last year when Blair finally said “good-bye” and Gordon took over. It was weird coming back to the UK a few weeks later and have a new PM in charge. I was holding out SO much promise for Gordon. It was SO great to see the back of Blair! But it’s all gone wrong for GB. Most of it being things beyond his control. Bad floods, Foot and Mouth outbreaks, Northern Rock and the credit crunch. It all seemed to conspire against him. And really, it’s culminated in him taking the decision NOT to have an election at the end of 2007. Something at the time I was hoping strongly that he would do. Because I could just see his PM-ship getting worse and worse for him and that by the time an election was actually due, we’d be getting ourselves a new Conservative government – which is SSOO gonna happen now š Anyway, the doc was good. Thank you Andrew Rawnsley. The last doc I want to mention was Victorian Sex Explorer. Just looking at the Channel 4 web site for info on it there’s a page that says “All the best bits from The Victorian Sex Explorer”…erm, was there any? This is what I was about to say. I was disappointed. Not because there wasn’t any “sex” in it or anything gratuitous like, but because it was just bland. I really wanted to know about this guy’s life, but it wasn’t so much about him but more about the “things” he explored. Which was fair enough, I suppose, but it was SO inanely done. I just sat there at the end of it thinking “was that it?” I want my hour back!! Well, that was a rant! CiaoBig Brother 9 – The Circus Has Come To Town!
Oh, my Lord. Another fantastic array of bimbos, himbos, nerds, geeks and freaks have “gone in” for the summer.
Here’s the rundown: Dennis
Good Deed For The Day.
About 12.30pm today Em and I were at home. Em was hand washing a few items of clothes in the kitchen, and I was sitting at the computer editing video. Suddenly there was a loud thud at the kitchen window. It spooked both me and Em and we both thought it must’ve been the little shitty kiddy neighbour and his football hitting the window. But there was also the possibility it might be a bird.
Em went outside to investigate. She initially saw nothing, then on a second inspection she saw a bird in the bramble underneath the kitchen window (not directly under it though, hence he was not spotted the first time). He was a baby pigeon. Still with downy feathers and all grey (no adult plumage/colouring yet). He must’ve only just fledged the nest.
It’s Eurovision Time!!
Man, I love this time of year! Two of my most favourite TV events happen each May. The start of Springwatch, but before that, this weekend is the Eurovision Song Contest.
Guaranteed to be gayer than Elton John in his Marie Antoinette costume at his birthday. Camper than a row of tents, Eurovision highlights the world of cheesy pop like no other festival can!
It all kicks off tomorrow night. In the UK the first semi-final airs tomorrow night (Tuesday) at 8pm on BBC3. The second semi-final is on Thursday night at 8pm on BBC3. And the final is on Saturday on BBC1 at 8pm.
In Australia coverage is on SBS all weekend. Friday and Saturday nights have the 1st and 2nd semi-finals on at 7.30pm, with the final airing on Sunday at 7.30pm.
For those of you wanting to see the show but haven’t got any TV channels in your area showing the contests there will be live webcasts at Eurovision.TV
Anyone having a Eurovision party over the weekend? Have a hoot!
I’m really looking forward to Ireland’s entry.
Can you be British AND Happy?
There was an article on the Daily Express web site yesterday about 40 reasons to be British and happy which tickled me. Some of the suggestions of WHY would should be happy seemed either lame or outlandish – most didn’t even pertain to anything quintessentially British. The forty reasons fall under ridiculous categories as well, which you will see in a moment.
Here’s a run down:
(My replies to the ridiculous ideas are in blue.)
SUMMER FUN
1 Sweaty Betty is offering free running and yoga clubs. All you have to do is check times on its website and turn up!
Wow! Exercising is NOT my idea of fun, and definitely NOT a reason to be British and happy?!
2 England’s failure to qualify for Euro 2008 has guaranteed a whole summer free of tabloid hysteria and WAGs’ antics.
That’s a load of hogwash. Did they forget that it’s Wayne Rooney’s and Coleen McLoughlin’s wedding in June? WAG’s a plenty I reckon!
3 The opera season at Glyndebourne begins this Sunday with the inaugural performance of Monteverdi’s L’incoronazione di Poppea.
The venue nestles in a fold in the South Downs and an evening spent at this eccentric private opera house is one of the highlights of the social season.
Enjoy a picnic on the lawn in evening dress before you disappear back into the modernist interior for a perfect second half.
Please, give me a break! And what has “enjoying the opera” got to do with being British anyway? Man, these reasons are sssooo lame!
4 It’s less than six weeks to Wimbledon. If you want to go, you’ll have to enter a public ballot, but you can queue up for one of 6,000 daily ground tickets from £5 a person.
Well, I suppose if you love tennis, it could be construed as ONE valid reason, but you don’t necessarily have to be British to be happy about it. Who came up with this lame list? Oh, Helen Dowd and Jane Warren – neither of which I can find any real info about on the Internet, so why are their opinions so highly rated?
5 Tickets for Royal Ascot – June 17-21 – are on sale and it’s possible to experience all the tradition, pageantry, fashion and style from just £15 per person. Call 0870 727 1234
WTF?
TRAVEL
6 It’s the perfect time to plan a camping holiday or car-free trip the weather can’t spoil at Center Parcs. Race bikes through hundreds of acres of woodland, splosh in the pools and try everything from abseiling to zip wires. Harassed mothers can relax in the Aqua Sana spa. Book one of the chic woodland lodges.
Oh hell, camping holidays! Since when have they been quintessentially British? I suppose if you count “Carry On” films as a true reflection of Britishness, that might be construed. But Center Parcs? The spelling of “center” alone sounds American. Perhaps if it were to a REAL British holiday (concentration) camp like Pontin’s or Butlin’s, then it may just be more British, but it certainly WOULDN’T make you happy. Staying in a complex with loads of families, screaming kids, dirty pools, canteens that serve breakfast between 8am and 8.10am all served up in bomb-shelter areas of the British “countryside” – does THAT sound like fun to you?
7 Visit the world’s best urban beach on Paris’s River Seine: three nights from £188.
Excuse me, wasn’t this meant to be reasons to be British and happy? Since when did it change to being French and happy?
8 The pound is still very strong compared to the dollar, so there’s still time to fly out to the United States for that shopping trip of a lifetime. This summer, British Airways is offering return flights to the Big Apple from £318.
Have you guys not seen the state of the economy? There’s a little thing going on in the world called “The Credit Crunch”. Who can afford a ” shopping trip of a lifetime” trip to NY? Maybe they should have changed the title of this piece to be “Reason’s to be posh, British and happy”?
FASHION AND BEAUTY
FASHION AND BEAUTY
9 It’s the bathing suit over which every woman will be breathing a sigh of relief as she heads for the beach. The Miraclesuit, £135, has hidden underwire, detachable straps and the Miratex fabric will pull in the wobbliest of tummies.
I’m sorry, but spending £135 on a bathing suit would NOT make me happy. Not unless it could actually make 135 pounds off my body disappear! Geesh!
10 Actress Gwyneth Paltrow might have hailed a revival for vertiginous heels but flats and Grecian sandals are just as trendy for summer. Slip into something much more comfortable from £120.
Again, why would spending £120 on a pair of sandals (when I could get a pair for £6 at Priceless Shoes). That wouldn’t make me happy either!
11 Here’s one fashion relaunch the gents will love as much as the ladies. Wonderbra is releasing a new summer version of its iconic plunging bra, £26.
Why on Earth would that make me happy? And what’s flippin British about it? Most women have such plastic friggin boobies these days they’d probably A) not be able to fit into a Wonderbra, or B) probably ACTUALLY not need a Wonderbra. And I’m sure that at £26, you’d find them cheaper elsewhere, say like on that “shopping trip of a lifetime” in NY perhaps?
12 There is nothing better than a handbag to make you happy. Primark has brought out a sunshine bright evening bag that not only looks like Chanel but also costs just £6.
Wow! A true bargain, but you are actually promoting counterfeit goods here. Is that right? Maybe it’s quite Brit to wear Von Ditch (I know it’s Von Dutch, but I like the idea that the knock offs would be called Von Ditch) and Blueberry knock-offs? I thought it was Chav, not Brit, maybe Chav and Bit are one and the same these days.
13 For men, keeping cool in hot weather will be easier with a pair of Coolers’ pants, designed to keep body temperature down. Canterbury Coolers Boxers, £12.99.
Erm, I’m sure if there are any men left reading this article by this point, they have fallen off their computer chairs with ecstasy with the idea of buying a pair of “cool” boxer shorts. I’m sure they have been totally inspired by the article writers’ imagination!
14 Smother yourself in happiness with miracle cream from Guerlain. The Happylogy UltraPenetrating Skin Essence, £51.50 stimulates the release of anti-ageing hormones in skin to plump and smooth your complexion. Details: 01932 233887.
Oh, you seriously ARE taking the biscuit now! You guys obviously didn’t see the Dispatches programme the other night highlighting the total waste of finances that “beauty” creams are? I might as well light a £50 note and watch it burn, it would be more fun!
15 For beauty lovers who want to bag a bargain, Balaton’s face mask comes with a freebie – buy a 100ml pot and get a free Balaton spa travel bag with six travel products worth £24.99.
Oh, Hallelujah! Watch me spin myself round til I’m dizzy with this fantastic piece of information. Again, I hate to state the obvious, but what does this have to do with being either A) British, or B) happy?
Btw, at this point, is it just me, or is there a STRONG marketing thread to this piece? Surely this has now become an advertising editorial, no?
ASTROLOGY
ASTROLOGY
16 In astrological terms, an auspicious August beckons. “The next new moon eclipse on August 1 in Leo should be really fun,” says Deike Begg from the Association of Professional Astrologers International.
“Leo is the sign of fun, it will make everyone happier and herald the start of a new adventure. Futhermore, between August 13 and 14, Jupiter – the planet of good fortune – and Venus – the party planet – are forming a 120 degree angle which will be very good fun, and especially so for Capricorns and Virgos.”
This is followed on August 16 by a full moon eclipse. “A great day for celebrations, such as weddings and christenings,” she adds.
OK, I’ll wait and see what happens in August. Maybe we WILL have a reason to be British and happy, but I dare guess by the predictions only if you ARE a Leo, Capricorn or Virgo. I’m a Scorp, go figure!
17 Cardiff University researcher Cliff Arnall reckons June 24 is the happiest day of the year because of the likelihood of good weather coupled with the prospect of some time off.
Hhmm, I think I might just let you have that one. It took until number 17 to get what could actually be a valid reason to be British and happy. Will there be any more?
FOOD AND DRINK
18 What would summer be without strawberries? Get some expert guidance on growing your own. For new and interesting recipes, visit www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes.
It’s pretty shit if you hate strawberries or are allergic to them. Ian Hislop hates them (and he’s pretty damn British and smug (IE: most likely happy too). My niece is allergic to strawberries (not that she’s British, but she’s happy).
19 For veg lovers, British asparagus is in season. The British Asparagus Association is holding a festival to celebrate on May 25-26.
Well, again, like the strawberries. But it’s almost good for me, as I do like asparagus, I just can’t afford to buy them :-(
20 It’s picnic time once again and Tio Pepe is offering the adventurous an opportunity to ditch the dull cucumber sandwich. Chef Mark Hix has created the Gourmet Grazing Box with a delicious combination of chorizo, wild boar prosciutto, olives and manchego cheese.
Sounds nice, but how much is it?
21 Who can resist a cool glass of Pimm’s? The classic summer drink has had a revamp with a host of new recipes on the Pimm’s web wite.
Who can resist a glass of Pimm’s? Me! That’s who.
22 The National Taste Festivals kick off on May 29 in Edinburgh and continue through June and July. Gary Rhodes, Antony Worrall Thompson and Tom Aikens are among chefs appearing.
Well, another thing that sounds alright, especially if it’s free (that I highly doubt). Ok, you’ve got two now (possibly three)…not 22!
BEST BUYS
BEST BUYS
23 Curry’s sale is on with HD ready digital LCD TVs reduced by up to £200 and free delivery on orders over £150 – all ready for a sporting summer.
WTF? What has this got to do with anything. Oh, yes, of course. I keep forgetting this is an advertising editorial.
24 Superdrug has cheap suncream on sale at £6.99, with a buy-one-get-one-free offer.
£6.99 is NOT cheap suncream. ASDA have a 200ml 15+ SPF sun lotion for £1.11, now THAT’S cheap. Shit, I keep forgetting it’s an advertising editorial. I wonder how much Superdrug paid for their mention here…?
SCIENCE
25 Happy people are healthier than pessimists, says a study of 3,000 adults by University College, London. Upbeat folk have lower levels of cortisol, a “stress” hormone that can contribute to higher blood pressure, obesity and lowered immune function.
A useful piece of information. Can’t you be happy AND a pessimist though? Being pessimistic doesn’t necessarily mean you are stressed.
Anyway, I like to consider myself an optimistic realist. Perhaps you can have 4, but maybe not if you are truly ill, you can’t just “snap out of it” as the suggestion implies here. It’s like they are saying, “just be happy for f*ck sake!”
26 A daily dose of chocolate is good for your heart. British scientists have developed a bar that can lower cholesterol. A team at the University of East Anglia has created a sweet treat that retains higher levels of antioxidants, called flavonoids, which are healthy.
Now you are actually beginning to talk my language. But why I need to be British for this baffles me. I know it’s not what the article says but it’s what it implies. Why not just have called it “40 reasons to be happy, or British or happy”? I don’t know, I just don’t get the whole Brit side of it so far.
27 Ninety will soon be the new 60 thanks to medical advances that will transform the diseases of old age. Alzheimer’s may soon be curable and most cancers are likely to be treatable.
Pardon? We’re going to live longer. We should be happy about that? I’m really not getting this list sometimes. If they’d found the secret to the fountain of youth, I could understand. My mum has been in pain for years, people have health problems at 60. If that means it stretches out for another 30 years, why on Earth should that make people happy? I don’t get it! And as for medical advances, if we still can’t cure the cold…
28 It will soon be possible to replace old, worn out organs with custom-grown ones. “Within a few decades, we are likely to be able to slow ageing itself, which could even lead to life beyond 120,” says futurist Peter Schwartz.
That sounds like my absolute idea of hell. Who’s going to look after all these “old fogey’s”? Certainly not the youth of today.
CHILDREN
29 It’s the time to plant sunflower seeds and see who can nurture the tallest.
Oh, FFS!!!
This has got to be the lamest one so far. Especially for kids. They don’t want to be planting sunflowers. They want to be playing GTA4 for 28 hours of the day.
30 London’s West End theatres are opening their doors to children aged five to 16 for free shows, activities and workshops. The Kids Week event in August will encourage youngsters to get involved.
God, that’s almost a good one. Try dragging your kids along to one though…
31 The Playhouse Disney Live! tour kicks off in London on May 29 at the Hammersmith Apollo. Mickey, Goofy and their friends will be travelling the country until late June.
Yawn…and what, prey tell, does this have to do with Britishness again?
OUTDOORS
32 It’s the village fete season. Drinks company Innocent is holding one in Regent’s Park in London on August 2-3 and has compiled a list of others going on around the country.
Lord help me. Again, it costs money. When has it ever cost money to go to a fete? And the word fete? Not British, but French. So fete’s, as a rule, are not uniquely British…
33 Britain’s beaches are the cheapest places to hire a sunlounger in Europe, costing an average of £2.50 a day compared to £10 in French hotspots, according to The Expedia Deck-Chair Index.
And why would you need a sunlounge? And why not just take your own? And, have you thought they are cheaper to hire here, ‘cos no-one wants to go to “our” beaches?! A nice little advert for Expedia though…”Let yourself go!” – sang in a Felix the Cat meets Ethel Merman style (a bit of an in-joke for me and Em).
34 Late spring transforms hedgerows, meadows and woods. Foxgloves are about to appear, caterpillars are emerging and will soon turn into butterflies, and swallows and woodpeckers can be seen.
Friggin hell! Amazing! I think this might actual be number 4 or 5 on the TRUE reasons to be British and happy list! I can’t fault this one…
35 The National Gardens Scheme is encouraging us to get out into the garden this Spring bank holiday. More than 200 gardens across the country will be throwing open their gates to the public from May 24-26.
Again, one I actually cannot fault. Number 5-6 on the true list.
36 The days will keep getting longer until June 21, the summer solstice, when summer begins.
Another true reason to be thankful.
CULTURE
37 The Royal Shakespeare Company’s summer season includes performances of The Taming Of The Shrew, The Merchant Of Venice and A Midsummer Night’s Dream in Stratford-upon-Avon, with Romeo And Juliet being toured throughout the country.
Woah! They’re on a role here. Not my cup of tea (something not mentioned but wonderfully British), but Will’s IS as Brit as they come and Shakespeare in the park in summer is an overtly British thing to do, and probably something to be happy about.
38 May is Museums And Galleries Month in Wales and there are events happening across the country to celebrate it. Many are letting visitors in for free.
Why is this restricted to Wales? Good though…
39 Liverpool’s annual Summer Pops, running from June 28-July 31, will be the biggest yet this year. Artists such as Blondie, Duran Duran and the Sugababes will be performing as part of the city’s European Capital of Culture celebrations.
If it’s free, it’s good.
40 Tickets are now on sale for the Hampton Court Palace Festival from June 3-21, set in the magnificent surroundings of the palace. Forget muddy music festivals, at Hampton Court there will be picnics and classical music performances. Call 0844 412 2954.
Hhhmm, sounds OK. I think I’ve tallied up less than 10 actual true, valid, good reasons to be British and happy there. The rest is an old load of codswallop!!!
Furkan Hell!!!
I saw this guy’s name on the BBC London news and just HAD to flip back on the PVR and capture an image of his name!
Leighton Buzzard by Bus.
We decided to go to Leighton Buzzard by bus yesterday. I love my Morrisons supermarkets and so really, despite there being slightly closer locals for Morrisons SM’s, going to Leighton Buzzard was the most direct route via public transport. We can get the bus from just down the road and it takes us almost directly to the supermarket.
Em was umm-ing and ahh-ing about whether we should go. We tried to check what the fare would be, but the bus company’s web site is SO vague. Em was worried it was going to cost us £7.00 return, each! But I was hoping that the bus company was not going to be quite THAT money-grabbing. I tried to ring them, got the old “Press 1 for this, and 2 for that” business. There was a section for fares, but of course, that option rang once then had a message that said “Unfortunately all our operators (right, one person manning the phone – if there were any AT ALL manning this part of the line) are currently taking calls, please call back later, or check the web site.” Erm, that’s why I was RINGING ‘cos the information I wanted wasn’t on your crappy web site!! Geez!!!
Anyway, we decided to take the bull by the horns and just go down to the stop and see how much it would be. When the bus arrived I fell over the step (good start!). After my adept recovery (not adept enough to give the driver a wry smile!) I asked the driver how much a return ticket to Leighton Buzzard would be. He said “£4.50”, well although it was still fairly expensive, it wasn’t £7 a piece, so we got on. It’s probably a competitively priced fare considering LB is about 15 miles away, and our nearest market town Hitchin is only about 6-7 and it costs £3.15 return to get there!
It’s a fairly long journey. The trip takes about an hour, but it’s a pleasant enough trip and it does go through the countryside – which is nice, especially in the type of weather we had yesterday (IE: lovely and sunny). The rape seed fields are at their most colourful at the moment (I wish it was called canola, like it is in Oz, it just doesn’t sound right enjoying looking at “fields of rape”).
By chance, it was market day at LB. We got a little bargain there. One kilogram of nyger seed for £1.60. The goldfinch food is well stocked. And there was a shop there selling “larger” ladies clothes. I got myself a nice top for £9.00! We went on to Morrisons, had a bite to eat in the cafe` and then went around the aisles getting bits and bobs.
I took a little video on my mobile on the bus back, trying to capture the countryside, but it was a bit lame. I’ll add it to the post anyway. Mind the sound.
My neck and shoulders got sunburnt (we had a while to wait for the return bus and I got burnt waiting) and they’ve been itchy since then, and a bit tender, ouch.
The Princess and The Pea!
We bought some new pillows as the ones we were using were not exactly plump anymore. Plus after having them for several years, it was probably best to change them.
I took the new pillows out of their packaging to plump up and aerate. Some little four-legged creature was intrigued with what I was doing, but stayed laying at the other end of the bed. Even once all the pillows had had their protecters and pillow cases put on!!!
Chrissy being like many other cats, cannot resist fresh bed linen and fresh clothes. I thought the pillows were no doubt to get a “christening” but perhaps I was wrong. Chris was showing little interest.
But alas, all was to be revealed about 2 hours later when I went back into the bedroom to find…
No bats, no hog :-(
I looked around last night for the bats, but they were a no show and this morning (for the second morning running) there was no hog in the box. The food had been left also yesterday, but it was eaten last night. I’m sure while the weather is being good, he’s just exploring.
The birds are chirping away again today. This time, the ever present chirrup of the sparrows, with the odd dispersal of some other bird I can’t identify.
I do love my wildlife.
It’s A Wild-life
The hog is still here, and on top of that, tonight saw the first appearance of the bats!!
Just a half hour ago, Em and I stepped out the front door to watch the bats whizz by our heads. One at first, then a second joined in after a few minutes.
The wildlife of Britain is just ssssooo cool, and right by our door!
Springwatch is soon. I’m going to try and include a countdown clock, hope it works!